i have such a

headache right now.

airwaves:2 legit 2 quit x mc hammer

im tap-tap-tapping away on my recent late uncle's keyboard trying to figure WHICH way to go..
my uncle Gary (my aunt's husband) passed away about 2 weeks ago and it was actually NOT a reminder of how short life is, but how long it can be..and how FULL it can be. Reviewing everything Uncle Gary did, through photos, people's stories, and letters he wrote. I'd like to think that he was quite content and quite fulfilled, he left his legacy, and thats something to be proud of. As for me, I'm being presented with so many different opportunities, faced with many different sitauations, and struggling to resolve many different conflicts. ive been doing so much thinking lately that my head is POUNDING. but anyway.
I'm finding myself quite confused at what i should do. i know what i want to do. i know what others want me to do. but i want to make that what i WANT to do and what i NEED to do are the same thing. It's going to be hard for me to turn down haiti, what with it being so near and dear to my heart, but City Year has been exactly what i've wanted AND needed since i first heard about it...it's kindve like when youre going going going all day and dont realize how hungry you are and then you stop and you're like woah. i need a cheeseburger. that kindve deal. i didnt know HOW much i wanted it until i was told i could finally have it....kinda like love? i dunno. keep me in your thoughts chickadees.


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